My Pregnancy Story

He who waits for something good , never waits too long

When planning a family you can always wish it will happen in a certain way or during a certain timeframe but it's not something that can be fully controlled. My baby K, now toddler K just turned one recently in October, so I am writing from a hindsight perspective. I had planned on documenting my pregnancy and post-partum journey as it happened, but ya, life happened and I never got around to it, so here it goes.

I was hoping for about a two year age gap between my children so they could grow up and play with each other and be bffs , but life had other plans. We had just moved into our house when our oldest was about one and a half. We were getting settled, there was loads of renovations to do, then in 2019 the whole c-virus nonsense started, my partner and I had a rough patch with being new parents, the stress of the move then a bloody pandemic in the mix, so needless to say the two year gap didn't happen.

Well, how did it go, well , you of course know how babies are made... so won't go into that, but we patched things up and realized that there never is going to be a "right" time, that something is always going to come up, and we just had to try and just roll with the punches. A couple of months prior to me conceiving , I had an accident. Which I feel is worth noting and I will explain why, as a trainer and in a world where fertility issues is becoming more common.  

In October 2021 I had fallen down a flight of stairs backwards. My oldest woke up in the middle of the night, I went to get her and she jumped in my arms at the top of the stairs, so as a reflex I grabbed her and held her tight, but the momentum threw us down the stairs. Thankfully she was fine since she landed on my chest, I however smashed my head against the wall at the bottom, was severely bruised along my legs and back and had whiplash like symptoms. Why is this relevant? Well, due to the fall, I was forced to halt my training for a couple of months, I went from training 3-4 times a week, to not all and went up a few kilos. It was in January that I found out I was pregnant, despite having tried and not had birth control for years.

Something similar happened with my oldest, I cut back severely on training when my dad was sick with cancer and it was following that pause that I became pregnant with my oldest. Although my periods had always been regular, just so happens that the two periods of time in my adult life that I had a longer break from training... then I was fertile. I am no fertility expert, but there are experts that say overtraining can lead to fertility issues and suggest to cut back when trying to concieve. Which makes perfect sense when you consider that women who clearly over train with zero percent body fat loose their menstruations completely. So keep in mind that when you see bikini fitness competitors , or women with rock hard abs, that although it may be societies current skewed standard of "health" , but it is not healthy to loose your period - PERIOD.

So we had been trying for months, and when I actually found out, I was elated with joy! I had been taking early detection tests for months on end and was disappointed every time I saw the negative. So when it finally showed positive I couldn't believe my eyes! I wanted to make 100% sure, so I took them on 3 consecutive days and on the third plus I was ready to tell my partner. He put our oldest to bed, I had cleaned the entire bottom floor, then placed a single bun in the oven and made a cup of tea and just strategically hung out in the kitchen. When he came downstairs , I offered tea and was like , I think there is something is weird with the oven, it's not working right , can you check it out. So he opened it up, and said" there is a bun in the oven", to which I replied, "yes, there is a bun in the oven" , he looked at me and blurted out "is there is a bun in your oven" so I gushed out "YES", we hugged and cried and it was beautiful.

Trimester 1:

Even though we were both ecstatic about the little bean in my belly and it was a relatively smooth pregnancy health wise, mentally I was a mess. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant in January I got the c-virus, plus with general first trimester blah, it was being sick on times a million. Then in February the war between Russia and Ukraine broke out and I binged watched the news non stop, so I was sick, tired, and depressed. How could I bring a baby into such a cruel world. Preggo hormones don't fuck about, my mental state was all over the place. It was around week eight, that I started to feel a bit better so I slowly eased back into training about twice a week. Which was basically the first time since my fall. So in others words had about four month break from training. With my oldest, my dad passed away two days after I found out I was pregnant with her, then I got a puppy a few weeks after, so that pregnancy I was pretty much just recovering from being burnt out and mourning so to be honest , aside from dog walks I barely trained at all during that one. So this time around, being a specialist in pregnancy and post partum training, I wanted to train as long as my body would allow. Walk the walk so to speak.

Trimester 2:

By trimester two, it was spring and I had crawled out of the initial first trimester funk. I was training 2-3 times a week with little modification, just cut out hip thrusts, everything else was fine. I held group training with focus on base exercises, squats, deadlift, row, shoulder press etc. So I just trained with my groups. Halfway through the c-virus lockdown I had stopped working with the online company I had freelanced with, Trainimal (previously Mammafitness). I had been with them for five years so was just one year into getting back on my feet with physical clients.

Considering everywhere had restrictions on how many people could be in a location at once, people were paranoid as fuck, and the gym I was working at switched management it wasn't the ideal time or conditions to build up a clientele base again. Not to mention, my partner had quit his position as a teacher before we know I was pregnant, so needless to say I panicked. I had work, but maternity leave is based upon your income the previous year so halfway through my pregnancy in my worried state, I wanted to boost my yearly salary to in turn increase my maternity leave. So for the first time in my career as a personal trainer since 2013 I took on an extra job at a cafe... I of course failed to mention in the interview I was pregnant. By mid pregnancy I was working 30-40 hours a week as a barista , on my feet the whole time and training a few hours a week on the side with groups.

Trimester 3:

Since I had shot up about eight kilos after my injury and during the first trimester , with my activity level, my weight gain was pretty slow and steady by this point. It is only necessary to go up about 12-15 kg for a pregnancy , although the average is often much higher. At any rate, I constantly got comments on my size, like people couldn't tell that I was (hid under baggy clothes for the most party), or didn't think I was that far along , or even back-handed 'compliments' like "Well, I am not even pregnant and I am bigger than you", umm... awkward, what the fuck am I supposed to say to that?! In the end it started to get to me despite my midwife saying everything was fine during our regular checkups. Around week 32 I got sent in for a 3rd ultrasound for a growth check.

At the ultrasound they thought things were looking good but to be safe wanted to do another at week 34 because I expressed my concern about everyone's comments. I was already eating like a horse, but like I said, the commentary was getting under my skin so I forced myself to eat more. With the acid reflux from baby K pushing my stomach in my ribs, at night I had problem keeping my food down and besides the discomfort of pregnancy had trouble sleeping because I was up vomiting every night (not free willingly of course). Then during the 34 ultrasound she mentioned maybe baby K did look a bit small. Which didn't make me feel any better. So the eating more, vomiting , paranoia that I was puking up my calories continued. They schedule another growth check up for week 36 , on that one, they said everything looked fine and I should have a healthy normal baby of 3.4 - 3.6 kg. That was the first night in a month that I didn't puke from anxiety and stopped eating so much, nor did I during the remainder of the pregnancy.

Moral of the story, don't comment on a woman's body when she is pregnant. Saying she is small is not a compliment either, on the other end saying "is it twins" is also not an option. Just shut your pie hole regarding her size and body, full stop. I'd say the only appropriate thing to say is "how are you?" and "can I help in anyway" let her tell you how she feels, but I guarantee you she doesn't need your two cents on her appearance, she is already sensitive enough as it is with hormones all over the map, her body changing and emotions like a roller coaster.  

Thankfully, I was able to train up until about week 39 when I decided to take a week off anyway since I knew I wouldn't be getting much rest once the baby arrived. In the next post I'll share how the birth went, stay tuned!